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Top 5 Unsexiest Women Ever

This is directly from Maxim Magazine. It's their list of their Top 5 Unsexiest Women. Ever. I didn't feel the need to change any of it, so enjoy.


5. Britney Spears









Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet.


Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of pudge.

4. Madonna











Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle.

Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton-like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.


3. Sandra Oh




Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy

Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.

2. Amy Winehouse











Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband

Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, “Nooo, nooo, nooo!”

1. Sarah Jessica Parker




Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Sex and the City, Failure to Launch, Honeymoon in Vegas

Why She´s Unsexy: How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with “sex” in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.

direct source- MAXIM
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Comments
6 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. October 18th 2007 @ 05:50. Harry Says:
Would you like to put this blog on it's own domain name? PM Jon and he will sort you out.

Harry.
2. October 18th 2007 @ 06:03. Ranting Rebecca Says:
Hey Harry,

Am new to this blogging thing. What is PM ing? and who is Jon?

Cheers,
Rebecca
3. October 18th 2007 @ 07:35. ChrisB Says:
Totally agree 100 percent with this

Hilarious!
4. October 18th 2007 @ 13:43. Anonymous Says:
Very funny!

PM = Personal Message, which you send via the bloggers profile page
...and Jon is Orble Head Honcho.
5. October 18th 2007 @ 22:24. Ranting Rebecca Says:
Thanks Anon!!!

Cheers,
Rebecca
6. May 21st 2009 @ 22:50. jimmy Says:
This is funny.

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